A third study guide has been produced by Lindsay Jones of the NZ Baptist Union for the book published for the 5th Vision Congress.  The chapter ("Families and the Church") presents facts which are essential to any informed discussion on Family in NZ, and along with this free study guide raises questions that need to be addressed.

The following comes to you as one of a series of papers drawing from the chapters of the recently published Vision Congress ‘08 book New Vision New Zealand Volume III.

I am drafting these for use in the Baptist pastors clusters, New Zealand wide. 

I have obtained permission for this from Vision Network.

They are freely available for use in other contexts also.

                        Lindsay Jones

                        Baptist National Consultant

                        2008

You will need to obtain a copy of the book to read the whole chapter for background.

Baptist churches can do so at a subsidised rate through Lindsay Jones  (09) 526 7955

Otherwise: Vision Network Admin (09) 369 1768

The indented words in italics below are direct quotes from the chapter.

New Vision NEW ZEALAND Volume III (2008) 

Chapter 18 pgs 247 - 256

Families and the Church

        by Lyn Campbell, Commissioner, Families Commission N.Z.

Defining ‘family' has been a hot topic in recent years, as Christians respond to N.Z. Govt. policy.

United Future's Families Commission Act, states in section 10(2): "In this section, ‘family' includes a group of people related by marriage, blood, or adoption, an extended family, 2 or more persons living together as a family, and a whānau or other culturally recognised family group."[1]

Statistics New Zealand uses the following definition of family:

A couple with or without child(ren), or one parent and their child(ren), all of whom have usual residence together in the same household.  The children do not have partners or children of their own living in the household.[2]

Christians are keen that the ‘nuclear family': two married parents, not lose its place as the primary definition of family.  Interestingly Lyn Campbell tells us that this is still the largest grouping of family in the country - according to Census NZ 2006, Fifty-seven percent of all New Zealanders aged fifteen and over were living in partnership relationships.  Of these, 76 percent were married.[3]

Other definitions do continue to rise: ‘Rainbow Families New Zealand' is an organization dedicated to building relationships and connections for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered (LGBT) parents, prospective parents, and their children.[4]

Lyn begins the chapter with a challenge for us as Christians:

In my current roles and conversations I find many Christians tend to focus on a narrow range of negatives regarding families.  Many look back to a perceived "golden age" when families were stable, marriages endured and children knew their place...Nostalgia tends to overvalue past success and distract people from engaging with the present.[5]

New Zealand family life is clearly undergoing rapid and complex changes in the early part of the twenty first century... Family life seems messier, darker and more challenging than it was twenty years ago.  But there is also evidence that many things in families are being done with more flair, justice, equity, mercy and love than at other stages in our history.  For example, women in particular (but also men) have opportunities and choices in employment, education, child-bearing and travel which would have probably been beyond the imagination of their grandparents.  Many families describe their lives as very satisfying and fulfilling.  (See What Makes Your Family Tick?  A report on public consultation, Families Commission, March 2006).[6]

Lyn then asks the question: What's been changing?

Over the last few decades there have been huge changes in family form and structure.  Families may exist as couples with children, sole parents with children, fathers as primary caregivers, grandparents raising grandchildren, same-sex couples with children, and parents caring for their own parents and children in the same household.  Some families may have several generations living in the one household.  Step-parenting and blended families add to the complexity of the mix.[7] 

Significantly fewer marry.  If they do it tends to be later in life and for shorter periods as people separate and re-partner with much greater frequency...Both men and women work longer hours and many struggle to balance their work, partnership, family and community living.  Sole parenthood is commonplace.  Our population is living longer.  More grandparents are raising their grandchildren, not always by choice but often as a result of a relationship breakdown in the life of one of their sons or daughters.[8] 

Lyn then asks the question: What Stays the Same?

...there are common core functions evident in New Zealand society today and families of all shapes and sizes still carry them out.  These functions, which give individuals their primary sense of value and belonging, include:

• Nurturing, rearing, protecting and socializing children
• Maintaining and developing the well-being of members through emotional, physical, spiritual and material support
• Sharing affection, companionship, a sense of whanaungatanga, belonging and identity (turangawaewae)
• Passing on values, attitudes, beliefs, culture, knowledge, obligations and property.[9]

Lyn then asks the question: What is Different? The answer lies around the topics of Marriage, Divorce and Reproduction.

When we take a closer look at having babies, getting married and divorce, we see that today relatively few people marry.  If people do marry, it usually occurs in their thirties rather than their twenties.  In 2006 the marriage rate was 13.5 percent compared to 38 percent in 1961.  The current median age for marriage, at 32.6 years for men and 30.4 years for women, is higher than at any time in the past 80 years.[10]

New Zealand has a relatively high proportion (28 percent) of families headed by sole parents.[11]

Fatherlessness, absentee fathers and "underfathering" are growing problems in New Zealand society, resulting in widespread concern about the impact upon children.[12] 

Fewer Babies, More Older People, the Shrinking Family.

The age structure of the population will gradually change.  The number of people aged 65 years and over will more than double and will outnumber those aged under fifteen.  In 2004 people aged 65 and older made up 12 percent of the population.  This is expected to rise to 17 percent by 2021 and to 26 percent by 2051.[13]

All of these matters above paint the picture of a changing New Zealand.  But perhaps the most pressing concern is that of Family Violence.

New Zealand has a shameful record of family violence that seldom makes it onto the agendas of reform and interventions supported by Christians.  Here are some sobering and alarming statistics concerning family violence that show New Zealand families may not be safe or nurturing environments, particularly for women and children:

• Police deal with more than 70,000 family violence calls a year; more will go unreported
• Approximately 32,000 care and protection notifications are made to CYF service each year; about 7,400 involve abuse or neglect
• Almost 14,000 women and 10,000 children are assisted by women's refuges in a year as a result of assault
• 38 people aged 65 and over are hospitalized each year for assault[14]

Just as the mission task in N.Z. requires us to stand in the ‘market place' rather than just as the ‘gathered' church, so we must take the same approach in relation to families.

Strategic planning must begin where families really are at in New Zealand now, not where we would like them to be...We do know that many families perceive intolerance and judgmentalism as a barrier to involvement with churches.  Sadly, many do not engage because they perceive they will not fit.  Their family form may be unacceptable, preventing their being welcomed into a faith community.  They often see church as being primarily about Sunday services and they want time and space to do other things with their families.[15]

What happens in families, for good or evil, affects neighbourhoods, workplaces, schools and communities.  It has far-reaching social, emotional, economic, physical and community costs and benefits.  We have an amazing window of opportunity to reach families in all their forms and contexts, to influence their lives for good, to bless them and bring justice to their lives.  In doing so we will truly be the church, Jesus' followers who bring "salt" to flavour families' lives and "light" to dispel darkness in all its forms.[16]

Matters for discussion:

1. In what ways have changes in families affected your church?
2. What moral/ethical issues have you had to work face re biblical discipleship and what passages of scripture have been helpful?
3. ‘The single largest family type remains "married with children".'  How significant is this in the light of current perceptions?
4. In what ways do changing patterns of work challenge the patterns of church life?
5. Ministry to seniors is becoming a key area.  Has your church taken any steps with regard to this?
6. Has your church engaged in supporting others around any of the issues of family violence?
7. Towards the end of the chapter Lyn outlines some actions and attitudes that the church needs to take up if we are to be effective in reaching a range of families in N.Z. today.  Which of these do you find the most important?
8. What barriers might the following families face in integrating into your church:

• A solo mum with two kids
• An elderly widower
• A young couple without kids living together
• Two gay men

[1] Hansard record Volume:616;Page:13104, Commission for the Family Bill - First Reading.

[2] Statistics New Zealand 1999 b,p.9

[3] Pg 249

[4] http://rainbowfamiliesnz.org/

[5] Pg 247

[6] Pg 247

[7] Pgs 247-8

[8] Pg 248

[9] Pg 249

[10] Pg 249

[11] Pg 250

[12] Pg 252

[13] Pg 253

[14] Pgs 253-254

[15] Pgs 254-255

[16] Pg 256

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